I have always been terrified of public speaking. Somehow, I could never get over this fear of mine. When I was in school, I never really tried to participate in any debate or declamation competitions. I remember my classmates participating with great gusto in everything. But I was nonchalant.

I remember that I was in ninth standard when it was made compulsory for every student to speak a poem in front of the class. The thing really gave me nightmares. I practiced whole week for that part. I recited my poem again and again and practiced with my sister and mom. Finally the due day came.

Unfortunately, my turn was the last in class. I kept on biting my nails as I saw all the students speaking their poem so nicely. It really gave me a huge complex. I remember starting very nicely and then suddenly something snapped and I stopped. I remembered very hard but the lines were simply not coming to me. I stood frozen before the class. I could see my classmates smiling slyly. They were all having a great time. But I wasn’t expecting anything different from them.

What really tortured me the great deal was my teacher’s reaction. She scolded and insulted me. She told me I was good for nothing. That incident always stayed in my memory for years- even now it is there. It’s just I am scared- I just know that I will forget my lines.

After that incident, I never spoke in front of many people. Whenever there was a competition or some kind of function, I would make excuses and take leave from school. My head starts rolling even by the thought of standing out there and speaking. With all the eyes looking at me together, I feel they will know that I am dead scared and then they will all laugh at me.

This fear graduated along with me from school to college and then to my office also. I have never made a presentation in my office. I always make one or the other pretence. Everyone knows that I am afraid of it- it’s just that they never mention it out of politeness. I feel really bad about it. I don’t know what to do.

I am feeling very tired. Let me take your leave now. Please take care, bye.

The ‘common man’ continued living with his fear for public speaking. He always thought that he was extremely bad at it. He satisfied himself by watching his wife and kids speak with great gusto and silencing the people who smiled viciously at them. The common man went about his work living with his fears and little strengths.