What kind of bed sheets do you like? To be very frank, I can’t tolerate anything printed, embroidered or written on a bed sheet. I like plain bed sheets in pastel colours. They look so soothing, pleasant and good. I simply can’t understand ornamenting a bed sheet.

My family in this regard (as is the case in every regard) is completely different from me. My wife has always abhorred the idea of plain bed sheets. She is all for stripes. Vertical, horizontal stripes, all geometrical figures- squares, cubes, circles, triangles and God knows what. Now she expects me sleep on a bed with a bed sheet that has triangles made on it in a flaming red colour. Oh God!!!! Save me the horror.

After many arguments, we have reached a rather difficult conclusion. Three days in a week- there will be single colour bed sheet on our bed and on next four days- there will those horrible stripes and geometrical shapes. Well- I tried but couldn’t succeed. She told me that she will have four days and I will have to settle for three. I really didn’t have much of a choice.

Then there are my kids. My daughter loves absolutely ghastly bed sheets. She says that I don’t have any artistic sense. She has a pink colour bed sheet with orange butterflies printed all over it. She says that when she sleeps on it, she feels one with nature. Then she loves bed sheets with flowers. Roses, lilies, orchids and every possible flower on this earth. I have stopped telling her anything.

My son is no far behind. He loves the pictures of superheroes printed on the bed sheets. He loves cartoon characters bed sheet. I have serious doubts that if someone will ask him to choose between me and Tom and Jerry- what will he choose? I really have doubts.

So this is the state of bed sheet affairs in my family. I am the lone warrior fighting for the cause of plain, sophisticated, soothing bed sheets. What to do?

But I must take your leave now. You know what- today is my wife’s turn of bed sheet. Let see whether I have to sleep on triangles or squares. Take care. Bye.

The ‘common man’ entered the room and found himself unable to utter a word. He remained in shock for next ten minutes. But then he recollected himself. He resigned and lay down on the bed. Today for company, he had a meticulously woven spider web on the bed sheet in a blazing magenta colour.